OK Guys, V-Day's Coming

I thought I'd use this blog to remind our wonderful men out there about the rules of Valentine's Day in order to increase the odds of success. [Note to the guys: If you didn't realize that there are rules, then you might be kissing the wall Saturday night.]

1. The man plans V-Day. We plan everything else. You get this one.
2. Her gifts are FOR HER. That means, it's usually not a good idea to buy us skin-tight leather PJs with six-inch heels. That, my padawon, would not be for her.
3. Stay away from Stovers heart-shaped boxes of candy. It reminds us of heart wreaths that you put at grave sites, unless it's from our kids - then it's sweet.
4. The happiest wives are the ones who don't have to clean the house on V-Day weekend. I know it's a crazy concept, but we're more relaxed and excited to go on a date when we know we won't have to spend the next day scrubbing toilets.
5. Remind us why you love us. We go from being Mommy to being the boss to being the head of the PTO. We need gentle reminders to take all of the hats off and just be with you. Remind us why it's so wonderful.
6. Unplug to everything but us.
7. When we say we don't want you to buy us a gift, most of us don't mean it. Sorry, we're beautiful contradictions at times. :)
8. Write a note in the card. We're always suspicious that you procrastinated and sped into the grocery store on your way home, just in time to grab the last withered card left on the rack, then signed the card while driving home (which is why your signature is scratchy). If you write a note, we know you took your time. [wink]
9. Surprise us. This is a guideline rather than a rule and results in extra credit. Do something we'd never expect you to do. Maybe take her on a drive in the country in order to see the stars away from city lights. Perhaps give her a CD of a song you once danced to long ago and have her guess where you heard it.
10. Keep your favorite t-shirt from college in the drawer and put on something that makes us do a double-take. Maybe even put on a tie!
    
11. Most importantly, V-Day should never include White Castle.

Good luck! Oh one last hint. If your waitress looks like she should be on the cover of SI, you are not to make eye contact with her. That's sudden death, my friend!