It sounded better in my head

I swear there are times when things fly out of my mouth and they shock even me! Most of the time, they're completely innocent and truly sound better the way I intend them in my head than the way I say them.

So, yesterday, our group's new director brought us together for our first staff meeting. He showed us his personality profile so that we could get to know him a little better. Upon reading his profile, he asked us what we thought. No one seemed very comfortable saying what they thought (at least that was my impression), so I opened my big mouth. I said something like, "When I read your profile, it reminds me somewhat of my husband. He can be a little prickly. You seem that way at times because you say what you think. As I tell him, he can be a little like a stinky cheese or a fine wine. When someone first takes a bite/drink, they might have an urge to spit and walk away, but if they'll stick it out and stay with him, they'll understand that he has a lot of goodness there." Oh no......Did I really just call my new director (the boss' boss) a stinky cheese? And did I just say that people have a tendancy to want to spit when they first meet him???? I really, truly did NOT mean it the way it probably came out. I, well, um, ugg. Any way I explain it is not going to help my cause. Simply, my husband is someone who grows on you and once he grows one you, he sticks. If you don't give him a chance to grow on you, it's usually because you walked away too soon and is your loss. Is that better? Or does that now sound like I'm calling him a wart???

When will I learn to stop using analogies? They always work better when other people say them. Wow. I think I may need to start looking for a new job.