We didn't have a mayor in Cope

So, I've been told many times in my life that I have an irreverence for authority, meaning that I do not fully appreciate the hierarchy of life that most other individuals seem to understand. I don't get any more nervous or star-struck around the president of a company than I do around the man who picks up the garbage from our offices every day (who, by the way, I miss dearly since moving to our new office space). I figure that without the guy to pick up the garbage, we've got 35,000 employees spending 5 minutes a day emptying their trash, costing us a lot of time - time that could be spent discovering new medicines that can save or improve lives. So, he's a pretty important guy, right?

I think I've finally figured out where this trait originated. I grew up in Cope, Indiana, population 28. We didn't have a mayor in Cope. We didn't have a town council. We didn't even have a neighborhood association. Goodness, I think we only had 3 stop signs. There really wasn't anyone of higher or lower stature. We were just us. I grew up knowing that I would be judged by my heart, my integrity, my loyalty, and my commitment - and I likewise learned to judge others in this way.

There are a lot of individuals in leadership positions who I respect dearly and from whom I have learned a great deal. It is an honor to know many of them. But if I think about it carefully, those are probably the same ones who would say hi to my friend who takes out the garbage and the same ones who appreciate that I grew up in a place without a mayor.

My Mom

I thought I would use today's blog to talk about my Mom.  I hope she forgives me for writing this because, unlike me, she's an incredibly private individual.  Sorry, Mom. 

My Mom grew up in a small farming community outside of Martinsville, Indiana, and was the second youngest of 11 children.  Her family was very poor and didn't even have a car for most of her childhood.  My grandfather worked at Old Hickory, making furniture, and walked to work (5 miles) every day, unless a friend saw him and gave him a ride.  My grandmother raised the children, sewed clothes, and nurtured a garden in order to help provide as much as possible for the family.  My Mom wasn't able to go to college, but left home and ultimately raised a family of her home, again in Martinsville.  She worked in retail and was quickly seen as a talented and hard-working individual but was always limited without a college education. 

Why am I telling you this?  It's because I am continually amazed at the opportunities that my Mom made possible for me and my brother - opportunities that were bigger than those that she was ever able to experience herself.  She barely left the town of Martinsville as a kid but yet worked as much as possible to ensure that her daughter could go to school in France one summer at the age of 17.  She didn't have a chance to go to college but made it clear to us that we didn't have an option to NOT go to college.  She would have worked three jobs and sold everything she owned to be sure that we received educations.  And you know what she always told me?  She said, "I want you to do well in school so that you can do what you want to do instead of what you have to do."  She always did what she had to do.  Work at a laundry mat.  Work at Kmart.  Answer my Dad's phones (and put up w/ my Dad lol).  She did what she had to do so that I can do what I want to do.  And she never complained.  

I pray to God that my girls will have the opportunity to do what they want to do.  I pray that they will have happiness in their lives that I have been able to have because of my Mom - a Mom whose dreams were much bigger than her own experiences.  

Thank you for what you have done for me, Mom, and for the dreams you opened up for me because of it.

It sounded better in my head

I swear there are times when things fly out of my mouth and they shock even me! Most of the time, they're completely innocent and truly sound better the way I intend them in my head than the way I say them.

So, yesterday, our group's new director brought us together for our first staff meeting. He showed us his personality profile so that we could get to know him a little better. Upon reading his profile, he asked us what we thought. No one seemed very comfortable saying what they thought (at least that was my impression), so I opened my big mouth. I said something like, "When I read your profile, it reminds me somewhat of my husband. He can be a little prickly. You seem that way at times because you say what you think. As I tell him, he can be a little like a stinky cheese or a fine wine. When someone first takes a bite/drink, they might have an urge to spit and walk away, but if they'll stick it out and stay with him, they'll understand that he has a lot of goodness there." Oh no......Did I really just call my new director (the boss' boss) a stinky cheese? And did I just say that people have a tendancy to want to spit when they first meet him???? I really, truly did NOT mean it the way it probably came out. I, well, um, ugg. Any way I explain it is not going to help my cause. Simply, my husband is someone who grows on you and once he grows one you, he sticks. If you don't give him a chance to grow on you, it's usually because you walked away too soon and is your loss. Is that better? Or does that now sound like I'm calling him a wart???

When will I learn to stop using analogies? They always work better when other people say them. Wow. I think I may need to start looking for a new job.

A beautiful reminder

[Sorry for the delayed blog; I'm working full days now and have been running low on steam this week.]

Have you ever had a profound experience in your life (good or bad) when you've told yourself that you will NEVER forget how you felt at that moment? But then time passed and the beautiful chaos of life evolves, quickly eroding your memory?

It's similar to the time Mark and I took a trip alone to Negril, Jamaica. It was amazing. We made no plans. We did only what we wanted every day for a week. My only rule was "no rum before dinner". LOL. Anyway, after a few days, I actually felt my pulse rate slow down. I told Mark there was something wrong with me because everything about me had slowed down. Maybe I was getting sick, or maybe it was the effect of sleeping one balcony above pot smokers. Then I realized that this was what relaxation was supposed to feel like. One afternoon, I found myself dozing off on our veranda while listening to a tropical rainstorm pass over us. The air was warm and breezy, and the sound of the rain and wind dancing through the trees was intoxicating. Just before I fell asleep, I thought, "I'll always remember this feeling." ........ Three days later, I found myself back in Indy at work, leading an all-day meeting, with a room that was poorly equipped, participants that didn't even like each other let alone want to spend the entire day together in an 8X15 room, and deadlines weighing down on us like the future of the company was in our hands. I had the onset of a migraine and was in a foul mood. My boss at the time (the charming man that he is), said something like, "Wow, that vacation happy face didn't last long." It took me a few seconds (after contemplating ways to make him experience severe pain) to remember how I'd felt only three days earlier. How quickly we forget!

I found myself in that room again this week, leading the meeting, fixing the equipment, and fighting off the urge to be cranky. Then, I received a wonderful reminder....

A good friend of mine left a card for me that I read this morning. She reminded me of the amazing blessings and miracles I've experienced over the past six months. She reminded me that there were reasons for what has happened. She reminded me, most importantly, that God can use these experiences to witness to others. After reading her lovely letter, I went into another high-stakes meeting and forgot all about it (see a pattern w/ me??). I had to excuse myself from the meeting to go to the neurologist because of the ongoing headaches. I didn't want to go and even considered canceling, but I went.

The doctor spent a lot of time talking to me about SCD. He was amazed to have a patient w/ this syndrome in his office. (I guess I've become somewhat of a circus freak w/ physicians.) He wanted to know EVERYTHING. How was I diagnosed? How long had I experienced symptoms? You could hear what?? I told him about Johns Hopkins, Dr. Ostrowski, the patient w/ SCD 5 miles from my house, everything. He was fascinated. He told me I was lucky. I said I was blessed. He told me he couldn't believe it and I told him that it was beyond understanding and a true miracle. Then I remembered my friend's note. She was right. One of the reasons this has happened is so that I can remind others of the miracles around us - the ones we often forget. I won't forget to continue sharing with him. I now have a reason to go back. He wants to see me a few times and also wants to learn more about SCD. I'm hoping to teach him even more than that. It's something I'll be happy to remember to do.

Don't feel guilty if you forget sometimes. That's natural. But just don't forget permanently. Don't be like Peter from Hook and forget where you've been, because where you've been is part of who you are, and who you are is the only you that God ever created to walk this Earth. Feel blessed for it.

V-Day

Given my last blog, you may be curious how Mark did on Valentine's Day.  

Let's see...

• He came home yesterday w/ a heart-shaped box of chocolate and a smirky smile on his face.
• My card read, "I love you, but I'm not writing a note."
• He redeemed himself with a great necklace!  :)

I guess this is why it's easier to tell other people what to do than to tell your own husband.  That's still fine with me.  I'm glad he doesn't do what I tell him to - it wouldn't be as fun if he did.

OK Guys, V-Day's Coming

I thought I'd use this blog to remind our wonderful men out there about the rules of Valentine's Day in order to increase the odds of success. [Note to the guys: If you didn't realize that there are rules, then you might be kissing the wall Saturday night.]

1. The man plans V-Day. We plan everything else. You get this one.
2. Her gifts are FOR HER. That means, it's usually not a good idea to buy us skin-tight leather PJs with six-inch heels. That, my padawon, would not be for her.
3. Stay away from Stovers heart-shaped boxes of candy. It reminds us of heart wreaths that you put at grave sites, unless it's from our kids - then it's sweet.
4. The happiest wives are the ones who don't have to clean the house on V-Day weekend. I know it's a crazy concept, but we're more relaxed and excited to go on a date when we know we won't have to spend the next day scrubbing toilets.
5. Remind us why you love us. We go from being Mommy to being the boss to being the head of the PTO. We need gentle reminders to take all of the hats off and just be with you. Remind us why it's so wonderful.
6. Unplug to everything but us.
7. When we say we don't want you to buy us a gift, most of us don't mean it. Sorry, we're beautiful contradictions at times. :)
8. Write a note in the card. We're always suspicious that you procrastinated and sped into the grocery store on your way home, just in time to grab the last withered card left on the rack, then signed the card while driving home (which is why your signature is scratchy). If you write a note, we know you took your time. [wink]
9. Surprise us. This is a guideline rather than a rule and results in extra credit. Do something we'd never expect you to do. Maybe take her on a drive in the country in order to see the stars away from city lights. Perhaps give her a CD of a song you once danced to long ago and have her guess where you heard it.
10. Keep your favorite t-shirt from college in the drawer and put on something that makes us do a double-take. Maybe even put on a tie!
    
11. Most importantly, V-Day should never include White Castle.

Good luck! Oh one last hint. If your waitress looks like she should be on the cover of SI, you are not to make eye contact with her. That's sudden death, my friend!

Continuance??

Hi everyone.  I just thought I'd send a quick note to ask if anyone's interested in me keeping this blog thing going??  It's actually quite therapeutic to talk to a bunch of people who don't talk back. [Grin]

Do what you do

Tonight, I was reminded that we all have our strengths.  Plumbing is not one of mine....

My bathroom sink has been getting progressively more clogged over the past six weeks, but for obvious reasons, I haven't felt like doing anything about it.  Tonight, I'd had enough.  I grabbed a bucket and a towel and went to work.  Upon taking off the main pipe, I discovered that a slimy raccoon had a death-grip on the drain and wouldn't let go.  OK, so it wasn't really a raccoon but it certainly seemed like one.  I've never seen anything like it in my life.  I may never get the image out of my mind.  [Note to self: When your husband offers to do something, don't try to prove that you can do it yourself.  It never ends well.]

After the battle was won and the raccoon was slain, I said out-loud, "I would make a terrible plumber."  I started thinking about some of the jobs I've had that I didn't do very well.  Like corn detasseling.  I tried that out one summer - well, I guess you can't call it a summer because I only lasted a few days or maybe even a few hours before I passed out from heat stroke. I awoke to find out that the boy I had a crush on had carried my lifeless body out of the field and that he had commented that he'd never seen a girl drool so much.  That was the last time I detasseled corn (and the last time I looked him in the eyes).  Let's see....Oh, I was also a make-up artist for a play and was HORRIBLE.  I think the director sent the Lion (Wizard of Oz) back about 54 times before he finally gave up and started telling me how to do it.  Hmmm...another thing that I'm not is a lumberjack.  I love to use chainsaws but have been told that I wave them around like light sabers (sp??) and therefore am not allowed to use them.  :)

So, if I ever lost my day job, I wouldn't be a plumber, farmer, lumberjack, or make-up artist. What would I do?  I've had a lot of jobs that I loved.  I LOVED being a collections agent.  That's right!  Yours truly spent a summer getting old people to pay their durable medical bills!  Funny, the first month, I thought they were going to fire me.  My manager told me I spent way too long talking on the phone to the elderly - that the quantity of calls was more important than quality.  I didn't listen (shocker, right??).  I had my own approach and they needed someone to talk to!  They were bored and lonely and out of money.  In talking with them, we came up with ways to improve their budgets in order to send money to our company.  During month two, the money started rolling in.  Our company hadn't recovered that kind of debt in 10 years of doing collections.  No one had ever thought of being a nice collections agent!  lol.  There was also the summer that I spent selling hearing aids for Beltone.  Same story.  I went through their long training program about the importance of the bottom line, but I thought it was a bunch of bologna.   I just wanted to help people hear better in a way they could afford.  Honestly, if you're 84 years old, flat broke, and live alone, do you really need a pair of $6000 hearing aids??  Nope, you just need a $24 amplifier and headphones from Radio Shak.  What do you know?  I had the top sales in the region the entire summer.  The guys who'd been at it for 15 years were mystified.  So was I (I had no clue what I was doing).  One more....I loved waitressing.  I especially loved it the summer I waited tables at Cedar Point.  The guys who worked with me were much better than I at the late shift but also stayed up late partying, so I sometimes opened the breakfast shift alone (while they were sobering up).  It didn't take long before I realized that I couldn't possibly get to 32 tables myself.  So, I enlisted the help of customers to fill coffee.  It was actually a lot of fun to stand on a chair and pick eager volunteers.  Too funny.  I never figured out why people left me a tip when they helped do the work.  

Why am I writing all of this?  I guess it's to say that you should do what you love the way you love it.  Don't do something because that's the way it's always been done.  The unconventional often feels better and who's to say there's only one right approach to anything???  Put your own flair into your job.  You'll love it all the more.  [Does this mean there's a way for me to put my flair into plumbing???  I don't think so.]

Made it through the first week!

I've officially ended my first week back at work and am ready for a nap, but I thought I would post a review of the week before it passes into the place of procrastination.

Highlights (like the blonde in my hair):

• Being back w/ my friends
• Working on a really exciting new project
• Verbal abuse coming from some of the guys I work with (why have I always responded better to verbal abuse than niceties???)
• Giving back some of the verbal abuse
• Feeling like I'm normal again
• Having friends watch out for me: OK, I thought this would really annoy me and make me feel uncomfortable, but it hasn't. I guess when you've been to the point that you can't bathe yourself (don't worry, I bathe daily now lol), you begin to understand that we're all destructable. The help of a friend is a gift rather than something that should make you uncomfortable.

Low-lights:

• Fatigue, especially after about noon
• Headaches (but they didn't start until late Wednesday)
• Webconferences from the phone: I realized today that it's really tough for me to be on teleconferences w/ a lot of folks on the other line. I was supposed to have a 3-hour meeting but cut out after 90 minutes because my head couldn't take any more. This has been my first sad moment this week, so I think that's a triumph.
• My rear: How is it that tissue can develop into this soft ever-expansive material that takes up twice as much real estate??? I've worked hard not to gain a pound through the last few months of sofa-camping but have somehow ended up w/ a rear end that that I can see by glancing over my left shoulder. If it weighs the same, shouldn't it look the same??? Ugg. And why is it that it takes so long to build a muscle but only either 26.3 minutes of laziness or one scoop of Chubby Hubby (Ben and Jerry's) ice cream for it to begin to soften and buldge. Life isn't fair. Oh well, as my close friend Reneae says so eloquently, "A fair's where pigs get ribbons. Get over it." I'll get over it as soon as I can do something about it. :)

Work: Day 3

Wow, I'm seeing a pattern emerge this week.  I'm SOOOO tired tonight and have a killer headache; it seems that the fatigue is building as the week goes on.  It's still wonderful to be back at work.  I just need to build up my stamina.  

Is this when everyone tells me that our VP was right for threatening to fire me???  

Work: Day 2

I had another good day in the office but am a little more tired.  The drive in took 2 hours 15 minutes because the roads were a mess, so I think that made the day more strenuous.  

I was excited to learn about a new project and can't wait to jump into it, but I AM obeying direct orders and am easing back into things (though it's driving me crazy).  See, I can listen despite some evidence to the contrary!

I'm BACK!

Today was my first day back in the office and it was FANTASTIC!

Let's see...

1.  Our group moved offices while I was out, so my friend Aileen helped me pack up my office first thing this morning.  (Thanks, A!)

2.  I reported to Employee Health Services to prove that I'm fit to work.  The nurse asked if I can do everything required by my job.  I immediately said "yes" but thought, "Are you kidding me?  I haven't been capable of doing everything required by my job in years!"  If I were, I wouldn't like it. lol

3.  I ran into my previous Director, who made some joke about me being an air-head.  I called him a name that I won't repeat here.

4.  I saw my Vice President who told me he'd fire me if I worked more than a half day, but I question that he has the authority to fire me (and hope that he doesn't read this!).  You see, I still suffer from some effects of the surgery.  That puts me in a protected class of workers.  Honestly, I think I could dance naked through the halls singing "I'm Henry the 8th I am" and no one could do anything about it.  :)  (I don't plan to test this hypothesis.)

5.  I started acquainting myself to the new office space.  We're now "mobile workers" which means that we don't have designated desks.  We have lockers for our belongings and can work from nearly anywhere because of blackberries, wireless access, and telephony (a virtual phone that's loaded on your computer instead of residing on a desk).  The mobile office space (where most of us choose to work) is beautiful.  There are so many desk options: some without walls, some w/ small cubicles, tables, small enclaves, etc.  It's beautiful!!!  I don't need much privacy, so it's perfect.

6.  I reconnected with friends.  This was the best part of my day.  It was wonderful to see and speak w/ so many people again.  I missed them!  

7.  I left at 1:30 but really wanted to stay longer.  Even though I don't think our VP could fire me right now, I'm smart enough to know that he could definitely make my life miserable if he really wanted to do so.  :)

8.  I got home at 2:30, so happy.  I'm exhausted and ready for a nap.

L8r G8rs!

-sly