The cold is GONE and I feel much better. I can't believe that a silly cold makes me so dizzy. Oh well, that should improve over time. Patience, grasshopper.
I wanted to send a quick note to thank everyone for the cards, flowers, emails, calls, visits, food, stuffed animals, and balloons! I'm eternally grateful for such great friends.
I'll see some of you in the office next week. I've received warnings from special friends at work that you plan to boss me around until I'm at 100%. Good luck with that.
:)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
3 More Days
I return to work Monday!
This was supposed to be the week to build stamina so that I'd be ready to take on my daily trips to Indy and a good schedule at work. However, two things have interfered with that plan. First, my wonderful Morgan decided to share her cold with me. Dr. Ostrowski warned that colds will throw me for a loop for a while because they'll exaggerate the balance difficulties. He was right. I've definitely had more difficulty with balance and even took a hard fall Wednesday night. Ouch. The second disruption was the weather. I'd planned to go to the gym some and walk longer distances; however, the foot of snow has held me hostage most of that time. Oh well, best made plans and all, right??
Yesterday, Mark had a snow day and I talked him into driving me to the Bloomington Mall so that I could prove my stamina. Unfortunately, I lasted less than two hours. I blame the cold. Today should be better. I've been using Zicam religiously and it has proven effective to shorten the life of this one. I should be back to abnormal in no time. :)
Please pray for strength and patience in the coming weeks. I want to jump back into my old schedule without a hick-up, though I know this is unrealistic. My two biggest struggles continue to be riding in a car and getting ready in the morning. Unless I want to walk the 55 miles to work looking like a troll, both are required.
Despite the frustration about energy, I'm really excited to return to work. It's another big step in getting back to my normal abnormal life!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wonder Woman Syndrome
This is another blog post to all my girlfriends out there. It's now January 27th and you've probably already violated most of your New Year's resolutions, right? Well, I'd like you to write one more resolution this week. Come up with one thing that you'll STOP doing! Stop? Yes, stop.
I realized recently that I don't have a single female friend who's a slacker. I don't have a single friend who takes life one day at a time and doesn't worry about everyone and everything around her. Why is that? We're all suffering from the dreadful Wonder Woman Syndrome (WWS). WWS is a serious condition in which a female feels as if she's the only person on Earth who can save its inhabitants from hunger, illness, boredom, contamination, discord, and mediocrity. WWS sufferers often show signs of slight mental imbalance, extreme fatigue, an inability to concentrate on one subject longer than 10 seconds, carpal tunnel (from carrying a purse, briefcase, books, first aid kit, jackets, and small children at the same time), and inappropriate verbal responses when asked how she's doing (i.e., "Fine!").
Ladies, how many times have we said, "If I don't do it myself, it won't get done right" or "I'll spend more time teaching someone else than if I'd just do it myself?" [In fact, my cousin and I were just saying this. Hi Mel!] How many times have we said "yes" when we were thinking, "Are you smoking crack? There isn't a chance in hell that I'm going to have time to do that?" How many times have we fallen into bed and felt as if we've been Hans Solo for the day fighting off all of the bad guys in the universe?
Do we really believe that if we don't do it that it won't get done? And would it matter if it didn't get done? Would the world come to a grinding halt? Would it hurt anyone if you took a few things off your plate so that you could spend more quality time with your husband, kid(s), friends, or Heaven forbid on yourself? I don't think anyone would really notice. In fact, they might feel more useful if we let them take care of a few things.
This became obvious to me during my last day in the office before the surgery. A friend of mine had to drive me home because I was in no condition to drive myself. On the drive home, I was worried about all of the things in the universe that needed to be done that I couldn't do. She said (in a rather abrupt way I might add, Ms. Kathy!), "You should give the rest of us the benefit of the doubt." Huh? "Maybe you should have more faith in your friends and know that we're just as capable of taking care of you as you are of taking care of everyone else. Let other people take over for once in your life. We might do a good job of it." Well said. She was absolutely right. I was worried that everything would fall apart because I had to step away for a few months. In fact, the opposite happened. Things went right along as planned WITHOUT ME! You see, the truth is that we run ourselves so hard that we actually do harm to everyone around us because we give too many parts of ourselves away to insignificant things. Even if you're the only one who you don't spend time on, the people you love suffer because you're simply not as happy as you would be if you'd just slack off once in a while.
So, stop taking care of the world; maybe focus on the Northern Hemisphere for a while. Inhale; exhale. Take some time for yourself. The planet will continue to rotate just fine in its current orbital path.
I realized recently that I don't have a single female friend who's a slacker. I don't have a single friend who takes life one day at a time and doesn't worry about everyone and everything around her. Why is that? We're all suffering from the dreadful Wonder Woman Syndrome (WWS). WWS is a serious condition in which a female feels as if she's the only person on Earth who can save its inhabitants from hunger, illness, boredom, contamination, discord, and mediocrity. WWS sufferers often show signs of slight mental imbalance, extreme fatigue, an inability to concentrate on one subject longer than 10 seconds, carpal tunnel (from carrying a purse, briefcase, books, first aid kit, jackets, and small children at the same time), and inappropriate verbal responses when asked how she's doing (i.e., "Fine!").
Ladies, how many times have we said, "If I don't do it myself, it won't get done right" or "I'll spend more time teaching someone else than if I'd just do it myself?" [In fact, my cousin and I were just saying this. Hi Mel!] How many times have we said "yes" when we were thinking, "Are you smoking crack? There isn't a chance in hell that I'm going to have time to do that?" How many times have we fallen into bed and felt as if we've been Hans Solo for the day fighting off all of the bad guys in the universe?
Do we really believe that if we don't do it that it won't get done? And would it matter if it didn't get done? Would the world come to a grinding halt? Would it hurt anyone if you took a few things off your plate so that you could spend more quality time with your husband, kid(s), friends, or Heaven forbid on yourself? I don't think anyone would really notice. In fact, they might feel more useful if we let them take care of a few things.
This became obvious to me during my last day in the office before the surgery. A friend of mine had to drive me home because I was in no condition to drive myself. On the drive home, I was worried about all of the things in the universe that needed to be done that I couldn't do. She said (in a rather abrupt way I might add, Ms. Kathy!), "You should give the rest of us the benefit of the doubt." Huh? "Maybe you should have more faith in your friends and know that we're just as capable of taking care of you as you are of taking care of everyone else. Let other people take over for once in your life. We might do a good job of it." Well said. She was absolutely right. I was worried that everything would fall apart because I had to step away for a few months. In fact, the opposite happened. Things went right along as planned WITHOUT ME! You see, the truth is that we run ourselves so hard that we actually do harm to everyone around us because we give too many parts of ourselves away to insignificant things. Even if you're the only one who you don't spend time on, the people you love suffer because you're simply not as happy as you would be if you'd just slack off once in a while.
So, stop taking care of the world; maybe focus on the Northern Hemisphere for a while. Inhale; exhale. Take some time for yourself. The planet will continue to rotate just fine in its current orbital path.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Dreams
Mark and I have a dream that we will move to the Caribbean and live on a sailboat when we retire. I'll be the chef and he'll be the captain, though by "captain" I in no way imply that he'll be the boss. We'll charter trips for couples who want a week on a sailboat without any of the work. We'll typically be found off the coast of St. John, our favorite island because it is 60% nature preserve (donated to the US government by Rockefeller).
There's only one problem with our dream. Neither one of us knows a lick about sailing. We've been on sailboats a few times and loved it, but we don't know the difference between a beam and a boom. Granted, we have about 25 years to learn, but if we continue our current course, we'll never achieve our dream.
Many of us treat our dreams this way - as something that resides in our heads but never takes shape. We blame bills, fatigue, our children, life circumstances, parents. We blame anything and anyone but ourselves. The truth is that we want the dream without the work and sacrifice. A good friend of mine once said, "I want to want to lose weight." She wanted to shed pounds but she didn't want to invest the energy it will take to shove down carrots and fiber bars for six months. I hear ya, sister!
Most dreams don't happen overnight. They take initial passion and purpose followed by planning and execution. They take determination and sacrifice. Are you willing to give something up in order to achieve your dreams or are you satisfied with a fleeting smile as you doze off to sleep and think about that sailboat?
Update: This is the first day I've woken without a headache! The nightmares have also eased up a bit. Thank goodness! The headaches are expected to continue for the next six months or so, but it's really nice to have a morning without one.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Update
I'm still feeling pretty good, but have struggled the past few days with headaches. This is expected and could last several months. It's just part of it, so I'm trying to get used to it. I still get frustrated w/ my lack of stamina, but I just have to remember that I have a lot more energy than I did a week ago; and a week from now, I'll have even more. I've never been good at baby steps. :)
The girls and I are enjoying every morning before school. It's a gift to be with them when they first wake up. I'll miss that greatly. It's also WONDERFUL to be able to hear their laughter and love it again. I don't have to tell them to be quiet every 2 minutes. Strike that. I still have to tell them to be quiet (they are their father's daughters after all) but it's not because they're making me dizzy. It's just because they're the loudest human beings on the planet.
We're starting to get back to normal. Normally abnormal. Perfect. :)
The girls and I are enjoying every morning before school. It's a gift to be with them when they first wake up. I'll miss that greatly. It's also WONDERFUL to be able to hear their laughter and love it again. I don't have to tell them to be quiet every 2 minutes. Strike that. I still have to tell them to be quiet (they are their father's daughters after all) but it's not because they're making me dizzy. It's just because they're the loudest human beings on the planet.
We're starting to get back to normal. Normally abnormal. Perfect. :)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My Cup Runneth Over
Today makes me think of scripture that I often quote to my girls when I'm overwhelmed w/ happiness, "My cup runneth over."
In my lifetime, many of the historic moments have been days of sadness: the space shuttle Challenger explosion, Chernobyl nuclear disaster, the beginning of wars, the Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, and the recent economic changes. Most of the positive historic days over the past 35 years have celebrated technological achievements rather than social or political, with the exception of the collapse of the Berlin Wall. Today is as great as that day.
On July 4, 1776, the Declaration of Independence anointed the concept that was achieved nearly 233 years later, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Regardless of political passions, we've all won in this inauguration. We've won because freedom and equality are more than our ideals now, they're realities.
I curled up with Morgan this morning (my 7-year-old daughter) and was honored to pray with her for the protection of the Obama family, his cabinet, and for all of the people celebrating with them in Washington D.C. She asked why this was all such a big deal and even said (as she watched people surround the Washington Monument,) "It just looks like a bunch of people around a lighthouse to me." In order to help her understand, I turned on King, a program I recorded last night off of the History Channel. She watched as Martin Luther King Jr. led in the fight for equality. When I turned back to the CNN coverage of today, she said, "Mommy, I'm happy Mr. Obama is the first African American president. And you're going to be happy for me when all of those people come to see me become the first girl president." She's only 7, so she can't understand the enormity of what she saw. However, she understood enough to know that there are fewer restraints on our potential because the 44th President of the United States is someone who would have had to sit at the back of the bus 50 years ago.
In my lifetime, many of the historic moments have been days of sadness: the space shuttle Challenger explosion, Chernobyl nuclear disaster, the beginning of wars, the Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, and the recent economic changes. Most of the positive historic days over the past 35 years have celebrated technological achievements rather than social or political, with the exception of the collapse of the Berlin Wall. Today is as great as that day.
On July 4, 1776, the Declaration of Independence anointed the concept that was achieved nearly 233 years later, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Regardless of political passions, we've all won in this inauguration. We've won because freedom and equality are more than our ideals now, they're realities.
I curled up with Morgan this morning (my 7-year-old daughter) and was honored to pray with her for the protection of the Obama family, his cabinet, and for all of the people celebrating with them in Washington D.C. She asked why this was all such a big deal and even said (as she watched people surround the Washington Monument,) "It just looks like a bunch of people around a lighthouse to me." In order to help her understand, I turned on King, a program I recorded last night off of the History Channel. She watched as Martin Luther King Jr. led in the fight for equality. When I turned back to the CNN coverage of today, she said, "Mommy, I'm happy Mr. Obama is the first African American president. And you're going to be happy for me when all of those people come to see me become the first girl president." She's only 7, so she can't understand the enormity of what she saw. However, she understood enough to know that there are fewer restraints on our potential because the 44th President of the United States is someone who would have had to sit at the back of the bus 50 years ago.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Defining Moments
There are a handful of moments in our lives that God gives to prepare us to respond in difficult times. I've thought about some of those times and how they've prepared me for the past few months.
About five years ago, I had a job I loved. It was one of those rare times when you jump out of bed in the morning and can't wait to get to the office. I was a newer supervisor on a team of very young and inexperienced professionals. It was exciting to watch them improve every day over our two years together and eventually become seen as leaders in our area of the business. Our director met with me and said he'd like to find ways to expand my role and continue challenging me. How exciting! A few days later, I was at home in the morning (because Mark was in a bike accident) and received a phone call from our executive director's AA. She said he wanted to meet with me. What??? This just keeps getting cooler. Rather than thinking that there could be anything negative in this meeting request, I thought he was going to tell me that they had found a way to make my job even better than it already was. I headed to the store, bought a new suit, and bounced into the office. As I walked into the building, I saw a good friend of mine. She asked what I was doing there (because she knew about Mark), so I joyfully told her about the meeting. She looked alarmed. She grabbed me by both arms and looked in my eyes and said, "This isn't good, Stacey. A lot of people have lost their jobs today. This is not the good news you're expecting. Prepare yourself before you walk in that office." She kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I went numb. I couldn't think. I went into an enclave to try to get my best game face. Then, I remembered something my Mom told me - something that often comes to my mind in difficult times.
Ten years earlier. . . Mark and I had been dating for a few years and I thought we were doing well. However, Mark was a lot like many young men and didn't know what he wanted until he didn't have it. He broke things off in what felt like a sudden way. I'm not much of a crier, but I was crushed. I spent an entire night crying in bed. The next morning, my Mom sat at the edge of my bed in silence, staring at the wall. She's probably going to pummel me for saying this, but my Mom's never been a nurturing, sympathetic woman. She doesn't say much but when she says something, it's important. As she sat on my bed, she didn't rub my back or pat my leg. She just stared. I asked what she wanted and she said, "Are you finished crying?" I sniffed a few times and said "No." She responded, "You need to be. I want you to stop crying, get out of bed, take a shower, get out of the house. and have some fun!" Sniff, sniff. What? "Stacey, you need to learn that when things go wrong, you can't respond by crying yourself to sleep or locking yourself away. You need to hold your head up and live your life. You can either allow difficulties to define you in a bad way or good. Your decision." Then, she walked out. She just walked away. No hug. Just suck it up and move on. That's my Mom! Well, I did get out of bed and I decided that I'd never again allow a crappy situation to turn me into mush.
Fast forward ten years . . . I did end up losing my job that day. They were eliminating positions in our area based on seniority and I happened to have the fewest years. With a lot of prayer and determination, I forced myself to walk into the office every day and give 100% despite what had happened. My team and I worked together to make sure we remained focused until I was in a new job. In the end, I found a position that I loved even more than the previous one and it was the best thing that could have happened to my career. God used something that stunk in order to create something spectacular. He also used the situation to strengthen me and show me that our jobs don't define who we are. As much enjoyment as I get out of working, it doesn't make me any more or less important.
What are your defining moments? Do you have one happening right now? If not, when one comes, remember what my Mom said. Suck it up, hold your head up, and make it define you in a good way.
Quick update: I feel GREAT today. I've been sleeping better and getting a lot of rest. I'm getting stronger every day! :)
About five years ago, I had a job I loved. It was one of those rare times when you jump out of bed in the morning and can't wait to get to the office. I was a newer supervisor on a team of very young and inexperienced professionals. It was exciting to watch them improve every day over our two years together and eventually become seen as leaders in our area of the business. Our director met with me and said he'd like to find ways to expand my role and continue challenging me. How exciting! A few days later, I was at home in the morning (because Mark was in a bike accident) and received a phone call from our executive director's AA. She said he wanted to meet with me. What??? This just keeps getting cooler. Rather than thinking that there could be anything negative in this meeting request, I thought he was going to tell me that they had found a way to make my job even better than it already was. I headed to the store, bought a new suit, and bounced into the office. As I walked into the building, I saw a good friend of mine. She asked what I was doing there (because she knew about Mark), so I joyfully told her about the meeting. She looked alarmed. She grabbed me by both arms and looked in my eyes and said, "This isn't good, Stacey. A lot of people have lost their jobs today. This is not the good news you're expecting. Prepare yourself before you walk in that office." She kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I went numb. I couldn't think. I went into an enclave to try to get my best game face. Then, I remembered something my Mom told me - something that often comes to my mind in difficult times.
Ten years earlier. . . Mark and I had been dating for a few years and I thought we were doing well. However, Mark was a lot like many young men and didn't know what he wanted until he didn't have it. He broke things off in what felt like a sudden way. I'm not much of a crier, but I was crushed. I spent an entire night crying in bed. The next morning, my Mom sat at the edge of my bed in silence, staring at the wall. She's probably going to pummel me for saying this, but my Mom's never been a nurturing, sympathetic woman. She doesn't say much but when she says something, it's important. As she sat on my bed, she didn't rub my back or pat my leg. She just stared. I asked what she wanted and she said, "Are you finished crying?" I sniffed a few times and said "No." She responded, "You need to be. I want you to stop crying, get out of bed, take a shower, get out of the house. and have some fun!" Sniff, sniff. What? "Stacey, you need to learn that when things go wrong, you can't respond by crying yourself to sleep or locking yourself away. You need to hold your head up and live your life. You can either allow difficulties to define you in a bad way or good. Your decision." Then, she walked out. She just walked away. No hug. Just suck it up and move on. That's my Mom! Well, I did get out of bed and I decided that I'd never again allow a crappy situation to turn me into mush.
Fast forward ten years . . . I did end up losing my job that day. They were eliminating positions in our area based on seniority and I happened to have the fewest years. With a lot of prayer and determination, I forced myself to walk into the office every day and give 100% despite what had happened. My team and I worked together to make sure we remained focused until I was in a new job. In the end, I found a position that I loved even more than the previous one and it was the best thing that could have happened to my career. God used something that stunk in order to create something spectacular. He also used the situation to strengthen me and show me that our jobs don't define who we are. As much enjoyment as I get out of working, it doesn't make me any more or less important.
What are your defining moments? Do you have one happening right now? If not, when one comes, remember what my Mom said. Suck it up, hold your head up, and make it define you in a good way.
Quick update: I feel GREAT today. I've been sleeping better and getting a lot of rest. I'm getting stronger every day! :)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Great news!
I went to my first post-op follow up today and received great news! Dr. Ostrowski was surprised at how quickly I'm healing and recovering and gave me a return-to-work date of February 2nd!!!! Most patients who have this type of surgery take about three months to get back to work and I'll be back in one! It goes without saying (though I'll say it) that God is spectacular.
Dr. O also said that I can resume most activities gradually and said I can even begin driving, to which I responded, "GREAT, I'll drive home." In stereo, I heard him and Mark shout "NO!" Apparently, my first drive wasn't supposed to be 75 minutes. Whatever. Cowards.
Staple removal was a piece of cake. I expected it to hurt worse than that.
My goal is to be back in Lilly boot camp by May. Wii Fit is a lot of fun but you just can't beat the feeling of having your body pushed to the near-puking point. I can't wait to be able to do that again (not the puking part though).
Hey, did you see the news tonight w/ the US Airways crash into the Hudson??? Wasn't it amazing to see all those people make it to NYC safely? One of the interviews said that the male passengers made sure the women and children got into the life boats first. The ferry boat captains also got to the plane w/in seconds of impact. This is a great example that when things are bad, most people do the right thing.
Dr. O also said that I can resume most activities gradually and said I can even begin driving, to which I responded, "GREAT, I'll drive home." In stereo, I heard him and Mark shout "NO!" Apparently, my first drive wasn't supposed to be 75 minutes. Whatever. Cowards.
Staple removal was a piece of cake. I expected it to hurt worse than that.
My goal is to be back in Lilly boot camp by May. Wii Fit is a lot of fun but you just can't beat the feeling of having your body pushed to the near-puking point. I can't wait to be able to do that again (not the puking part though).
Hey, did you see the news tonight w/ the US Airways crash into the Hudson??? Wasn't it amazing to see all those people make it to NYC safely? One of the interviews said that the male passengers made sure the women and children got into the life boats first. The ferry boat captains also got to the plane w/in seconds of impact. This is a great example that when things are bad, most people do the right thing.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tormenting the man I love!
First a quick update. . . . I'm doing great, much better than expected only 12 days out of surgery. Prayers are working! I can walk around without assistance and no longer appear drunk. The only medicine I need is one Tylenol late in the afternoon and one Aleve before bed. I can read for short periods of time and can obviously use the computer. The three main symptoms from the surgery are poor balance, hearing loss in the left ear, and something appropriately termed bobble-head vision. The hearing loss is caused from swelling around the hearing nerve and will likely return gradually over the next six months. The bobble-head vision is exactly what it's called....when I move my head slightly up or down, my field of vision bobbles a few times up and down, then settles. Mark says I'm like one of those hula-girls that you put on your dash-board. It's really not that bad and should also improve over the next six months. One week ago, I didn't have the energy to lift my arms for more than a few seconds (likely because of the nausea and lack of eating), so I'm eternally grateful for how I feel today.
I'm also grateful to my friends and family. You have made this journey a lot easier. The prayers, cards, visits, food, flowers, and the adorable Kung Fu Panda all continue to lift my spirits every day. A friend stayed w/ me yesterday (thanks Bon!) while Mark had rehearsal and we talked for hours. It was yet another gift that someone gave unconditionally.
There are moments of frustration when I wish my body would work normally or that I had the same energy level. I also miss working and fear that I may soon start fires voluntarily just to have problems to solve. Please pray for Mark as my boredom festers! The last time this happened was during the weeks leading to Morgan's birth when I was at home w/o kids. After coming home to some MINOR changes a few days in a row, he asked me to please stop changing things because he would like to come home to the same house he leaves for one day. Whatever. It wasn't that bad.
Please pray for my doctor's appointment tomorrow. It'll require an hour drive to the North side of Indy and car rides continue to be my worst enemy because of the bobble-head vision. However, the GREAT news is that the staples come out!
Any suggestions for projects that I can do to avoid boredom? Keep in mind that it has to be something non-physical and I can't use my eyes to stare at anything for long periods. One thing I've decided to do is to start a long prayer list for others to repay some of the prayers that have been said for me. Any others (hopefully some that will include ways to torment my husband)?
Oh, thanks for the suggestions for dark circles (all but the one from Jason that involved Diet Coke, vaseline, and toothpaste).
I'm also grateful to my friends and family. You have made this journey a lot easier. The prayers, cards, visits, food, flowers, and the adorable Kung Fu Panda all continue to lift my spirits every day. A friend stayed w/ me yesterday (thanks Bon!) while Mark had rehearsal and we talked for hours. It was yet another gift that someone gave unconditionally.
There are moments of frustration when I wish my body would work normally or that I had the same energy level. I also miss working and fear that I may soon start fires voluntarily just to have problems to solve. Please pray for Mark as my boredom festers! The last time this happened was during the weeks leading to Morgan's birth when I was at home w/o kids. After coming home to some MINOR changes a few days in a row, he asked me to please stop changing things because he would like to come home to the same house he leaves for one day. Whatever. It wasn't that bad.
Please pray for my doctor's appointment tomorrow. It'll require an hour drive to the North side of Indy and car rides continue to be my worst enemy because of the bobble-head vision. However, the GREAT news is that the staples come out!
Any suggestions for projects that I can do to avoid boredom? Keep in mind that it has to be something non-physical and I can't use my eyes to stare at anything for long periods. One thing I've decided to do is to start a long prayer list for others to repay some of the prayers that have been said for me. Any others (hopefully some that will include ways to torment my husband)?
Oh, thanks for the suggestions for dark circles (all but the one from Jason that involved Diet Coke, vaseline, and toothpaste).
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I should be sleeping Part 2
Having trouble sleeping again. I do need the sleep because without it, I'm a little more wobbly in my walk. Maybe it's that I slept for nearly a week straight and now don't want to miss anything. Oh well, I'm sure it will catch up soon and I'll be rested again.
Today hasn't been as smooth as the previous two days but that's expected. The doc said I would likely have see-saw days when I feel like a million bucks, then struggle a little more. Over time, I just need to keep making progress.
I did meet my goal today: Victoria's secret perfume, pretty toes, brushed hair. I even added some make-up! Wow. That's progress. Tomorrow's goal is to match that, plus 10 minutes of Wii Fit. It should be funny to callibrate my balance for the first time post-op! If you haven't tried Wii Fit, you should! It's a lot of fun. I especially like the balance routine where you aim your head at soccer balls.
Oh, do any of my girlfriends out there have a miracle cure for dark circles under the eyes? I look hideous.
Today hasn't been as smooth as the previous two days but that's expected. The doc said I would likely have see-saw days when I feel like a million bucks, then struggle a little more. Over time, I just need to keep making progress.
I did meet my goal today: Victoria's secret perfume, pretty toes, brushed hair. I even added some make-up! Wow. That's progress. Tomorrow's goal is to match that, plus 10 minutes of Wii Fit. It should be funny to callibrate my balance for the first time post-op! If you haven't tried Wii Fit, you should! It's a lot of fun. I especially like the balance routine where you aim your head at soccer balls.
Oh, do any of my girlfriends out there have a miracle cure for dark circles under the eyes? I look hideous.
I should be sleeping
Yes, I should be sleeping. It's not that I can't sleep but that I don't want to go to sleep. I'm having some difficulty w/ nightmares which apparently is expected when they open up your noggin. Tonight's weren't as bad as some but just startled me enough that I'd rather stay distracted, so thanks for appeasing me.
Today was a BIG day. My sister-in-law Melissa took me to Kroger! Oh, but you should have seen me - no make up and my hair was, well, a complete disgrace. I'm not sure that I was ready to leave the house but there was some stubborn part of me that had to prove that I could do it - not to prove to anyone else, just to yours truly. I ran into a friend from high school in the produce aisle and the look on his face was priceless. Let's just say it was one of those moments when you know that the other person is quickly thinking of a reason to look in a different direction. The liberating thing was that I didn't even care - I was just happy that I made it all the way there. Plus, I was wearing Victoria Secret perfume and there's some psycho ingredient in it that makes you think you're a super model even when you look like hell. :) I've decided that pretty toes and Victoria Secret have been God's gift to my sanity at the moment. Hey, it's all in the small stuff, right?
I probably won't get out again for a few days - just needed to prove to myself that I'm still a tough girl. :) If you haven't yet noticed, I'm more than a little stubborn.
My goal tomorrow is a small one. I want to have my hair look half-way presentable. That and Victoria's Secret and pretty toes. Baby steps.
So, I'll ask the question that's definitely on my mind. I'm not sure if it's crossed yours yet.... Why has God brought me here? I'm asking that in a very matter-of-fact way, not an oh-why-me way. I really want to know and I understand that He'll tell me when He's ready. At first, I thought it was because I needed to be less stubborn or learn to give Him control, but it's more than that. God created me to be thick-headed and I don't think it's His intent to break that part of me. But there's a reason why there have been 150 people in the world with this thing and I'm one of them and truly, I don' think it all lies in me because this isn't just happening to me but to all the people who care about me. There's a reason. We'll find out. When I do, I promise to share it with you.
Until next time, I'm going to do one of my new no-nightmares tricks. There's a cute Snoopy sticker on the girls' play room window. It's a great picture - one w/ the wind blowing his stocking cap back as he skates with a huge grin plastered across his face. I like to look at it before I fall asleep because there's just not much out there that makes you feel as good as that smile.
Today was a BIG day. My sister-in-law Melissa took me to Kroger! Oh, but you should have seen me - no make up and my hair was, well, a complete disgrace. I'm not sure that I was ready to leave the house but there was some stubborn part of me that had to prove that I could do it - not to prove to anyone else, just to yours truly. I ran into a friend from high school in the produce aisle and the look on his face was priceless. Let's just say it was one of those moments when you know that the other person is quickly thinking of a reason to look in a different direction. The liberating thing was that I didn't even care - I was just happy that I made it all the way there. Plus, I was wearing Victoria Secret perfume and there's some psycho ingredient in it that makes you think you're a super model even when you look like hell. :) I've decided that pretty toes and Victoria Secret have been God's gift to my sanity at the moment. Hey, it's all in the small stuff, right?
I probably won't get out again for a few days - just needed to prove to myself that I'm still a tough girl. :) If you haven't yet noticed, I'm more than a little stubborn.
My goal tomorrow is a small one. I want to have my hair look half-way presentable. That and Victoria's Secret and pretty toes. Baby steps.
So, I'll ask the question that's definitely on my mind. I'm not sure if it's crossed yours yet.... Why has God brought me here? I'm asking that in a very matter-of-fact way, not an oh-why-me way. I really want to know and I understand that He'll tell me when He's ready. At first, I thought it was because I needed to be less stubborn or learn to give Him control, but it's more than that. God created me to be thick-headed and I don't think it's His intent to break that part of me. But there's a reason why there have been 150 people in the world with this thing and I'm one of them and truly, I don' think it all lies in me because this isn't just happening to me but to all the people who care about me. There's a reason. We'll find out. When I do, I promise to share it with you.
Until next time, I'm going to do one of my new no-nightmares tricks. There's a cute Snoopy sticker on the girls' play room window. It's a great picture - one w/ the wind blowing his stocking cap back as he skates with a huge grin plastered across his face. I like to look at it before I fall asleep because there's just not much out there that makes you feel as good as that smile.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Better today
This update's from Stacey....
Thank you for your prayers this week. They worked. The nausea finally subsided and I was able to eat for the first time in a few days. My pulse came back up and my blood pressure went down.
Mark and I made a decision Wednesday after a couple of continuously worse days that I'd go off all of the pain meds except ibuprofin and tylenol. It made a huge difference. The hallucinations stopped and the nausea improved enough that I could eat. With the suggestion of a friend, I came back to life w/ the help of a smoothie. :) Our bodies just aren't meant for narcotics!!!!!
This morning, I woke up feeling like a new person. It was the first time I remember waking up to quiet in, well, years. No internal squeaks or sounds, just peace! It was a beautiful sound.
Today, I'll have to remind myself to not overdo it because I do feel great. I think a friend is coming over to help me do something w/ this lion's hair of mine so I'll be a little less scary to small children. Vanity is certainly the last to go w/ this girl. Mark's been very sweet to remember that. He still calls me beautiful which makes me feel better; perhaps he's started taking my pain meds. ????
Thank you for your prayers this week. They worked. The nausea finally subsided and I was able to eat for the first time in a few days. My pulse came back up and my blood pressure went down.
Mark and I made a decision Wednesday after a couple of continuously worse days that I'd go off all of the pain meds except ibuprofin and tylenol. It made a huge difference. The hallucinations stopped and the nausea improved enough that I could eat. With the suggestion of a friend, I came back to life w/ the help of a smoothie. :) Our bodies just aren't meant for narcotics!!!!!
This morning, I woke up feeling like a new person. It was the first time I remember waking up to quiet in, well, years. No internal squeaks or sounds, just peace! It was a beautiful sound.
Today, I'll have to remind myself to not overdo it because I do feel great. I think a friend is coming over to help me do something w/ this lion's hair of mine so I'll be a little less scary to small children. Vanity is certainly the last to go w/ this girl. Mark's been very sweet to remember that. He still calls me beautiful which makes me feel better; perhaps he's started taking my pain meds. ????
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thursday Morning
This is Mark writing again. Stacey has had a tough 36 hours or so. The naseau seems to be getting worse and Stacey is getting weaker. We haven't quite figured out why. I do konw that she is certainly in need of prayer for both her and her Dr. as they try to sort out the current problems. Please take a minute and pray for her. Thanks.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Another update
Being home has been wonderful today. It's amazing what a good nap in your own bed can do for you. Yesterday's pain was an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. Today, it's down to a 4. That's terrific.
I'm having to learn to rest a lot - it's not easy for me to laze around but it does help so I'm doing it anyway. It's kind of nice to have an excuse to wear PJ's and slippers all day. :)
The turbin's coming off in the morning! Mark and my Mom are doing the unvailing. That'll be a relief because this sucker's tied really tight! Dr. Ostrowski's turbin tieing skills were the talk of our floor w/ the nurses - aparently he's good. He's been really wonderful to us and even called today to see how I'm doing. When I was prepping for surgery, I got a little anxious and he came over and held my hand until I fell asleep. It's certainly reassuring to have a doc who's a good man and good surgeon. :)
I'm having to learn to rest a lot - it's not easy for me to laze around but it does help so I'm doing it anyway. It's kind of nice to have an excuse to wear PJ's and slippers all day. :)
The turbin's coming off in the morning! Mark and my Mom are doing the unvailing. That'll be a relief because this sucker's tied really tight! Dr. Ostrowski's turbin tieing skills were the talk of our floor w/ the nurses - aparently he's good. He's been really wonderful to us and even called today to see how I'm doing. When I was prepping for surgery, I got a little anxious and he came over and held my hand until I fell asleep. It's certainly reassuring to have a doc who's a good man and good surgeon. :)
update
Hi everyone. This one's going to be short because it's from me, Stacey. Yesterday was a tough one - the ride home wiped me out for the day. However, today is a little better and w/ God's grace, tomorrow will be even better.
Mark's been a great nurse and my Mom has made sure I'm fed. Liz kept the girls last night because of the day I had. Thank you all for your prayers.
It's probably a good sign that I'm still ticked off at the Colts for Saturday's stinky performance. I'm glad I slept through a lot of it.
Mark's been a great nurse and my Mom has made sure I'm fed. Liz kept the girls last night because of the day I had. Thank you all for your prayers.
It's probably a good sign that I'm still ticked off at the Colts for Saturday's stinky performance. I'm glad I slept through a lot of it.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Coming Home
Some great news and some not so great news.
Great news: Stacey is home. The Dr. and the nurses at St. Vincents were amazing and really helped her recovery. So much so, that the Dr. felt she was more than ready to come home today. We are so glad to be out of the hospital and in our house, I can't begin to tell you.
Not so great news: The car drive home was VERY hard for Stacey. You just can't control all of the lateral and up and down movements. You remember pinball. You know if you got too aggressive with the paddles, the game would "tilt" and shut down. That's kind of what Stacey's balance system did on the drive home. So, please no phone or visits today. Send lots of emails, comments, and facebook encouragement, but I don't think she'll be up for much else today.
Again, we thank you for your prayers. Overall, this experience is going way better than either of us thought it would. It's because of all of your prayers. Thank you so much. Keep them coming.
Great news: Stacey is home. The Dr. and the nurses at St. Vincents were amazing and really helped her recovery. So much so, that the Dr. felt she was more than ready to come home today. We are so glad to be out of the hospital and in our house, I can't begin to tell you.
Not so great news: The car drive home was VERY hard for Stacey. You just can't control all of the lateral and up and down movements. You remember pinball. You know if you got too aggressive with the paddles, the game would "tilt" and shut down. That's kind of what Stacey's balance system did on the drive home. So, please no phone or visits today. Send lots of emails, comments, and facebook encouragement, but I don't think she'll be up for much else today.
Again, we thank you for your prayers. Overall, this experience is going way better than either of us thought it would. It's because of all of your prayers. Thank you so much. Keep them coming.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Update #4 (Sunday Morning)
Stacey is doing much better this morning. She got a pretty good night's sleep last night and is getting up on her own on a regular basis. If you wish to see her in the hospital, today would be a good day. However, visists will have to be short and she will still be resting much of the time. You may walk in when she is resting in her room and have to wait a bit to see her.
The Dr. was in this morning and he was very happy with her progress. He told her that if she progresses in a similar fashion today, that she will be released tomorrow. We don't know what time.
Keep praying.
The Dr. was in this morning and he was very happy with her progress. He told her that if she progresses in a similar fashion today, that she will be released tomorrow. We don't know what time.
Keep praying.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Stacey Update #3
This evening has gone MUCH better for Stacey. With the help of one of the nurses here, they figured out what medicine was really causing her to feel sick. She stopped that med and is now doing much better 6 hours later. She is in some pain, but she is awake for longer periods now, and when she is she is much more of herself.
She has no unexpected side effects thus far and has even been out of bed on several occasions including two walks around the floor. Thanks for all of the prayers, they are helping.
Tomorrow I feel she'll make some great strides toward being our Stacey again. Although, she'll be running at a slower pace for awhile.
She has no unexpected side effects thus far and has even been out of bed on several occasions including two walks around the floor. Thanks for all of the prayers, they are helping.
Tomorrow I feel she'll make some great strides toward being our Stacey again. Although, she'll be running at a slower pace for awhile.
Stacey Update #2
Good morning to all. Stacey is being moved from an ICU room to a normal room at St. Vincents. She still is not doing well as far as visitors are concearned. She is only alert for about 5 - 10 min at a time for a conversation. If you are wanting to visit, I might suggest to wait until tomorrow (Sunday) if possible.
The Dr's say she is recovering exactly as expected and they are expecting her to sit up and get up at least once or twice today.
The Dr's say she is recovering exactly as expected and they are expecting her to sit up and get up at least once or twice today.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Surgury Day
The quality of writing is going to go way downhill because this is Mark.
Stacey got out of surgery at about 1:30 today. The Dr. said that the surgery went very well. It went exactly as they expected and there were no complications. She is currently in the ICU at St. Vincent's Hospital. (This was expected) She is VERY groggy and is feeling a bit sick, but otherwise ok right now.
A few notes:
1. The Dr. said that there was "lots of room in there to work" (Yes, that is an exact quote) so the air-head references have been accurate all along
2. If you are planning a visit on Saturday, Stacey said that you are not allowed in the room during the Colts game unless you wish to watch, or be ignored. Again, her words. Not mine.
Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers...she still needs them.
Stacey got out of surgery at about 1:30 today. The Dr. said that the surgery went very well. It went exactly as they expected and there were no complications. She is currently in the ICU at St. Vincent's Hospital. (This was expected) She is VERY groggy and is feeling a bit sick, but otherwise ok right now.
A few notes:
1. The Dr. said that there was "lots of room in there to work" (Yes, that is an exact quote) so the air-head references have been accurate all along
2. If you are planning a visit on Saturday, Stacey said that you are not allowed in the room during the Colts game unless you wish to watch, or be ignored. Again, her words. Not mine.
Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers...she still needs them.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
It's about time!
Mark, the girls, and I spent the past 3 days in Chicago for a great family outing. We stayed at Homewood Suites (highly recommend it!), went to the top of the John Hancock Building, rode the L, and spent a lot of time in the American Girl Doll Store. By God's grace, I had more energy than usual and we had a wonderful time. It was the perfect distraction.
In about 12 hours, we'll head to St. V's. I'm ready but am definitely not looking forward to the days following surgery. One word of caution is that I've been told that my language abilities may not be sharp for a few weeks because the docs will be messing with the left lobe of the brain which is responsible for language. Therefore, my blog may be brief or non-existent (with the exception of a quick update) for a while.
Thank you for your prayers. They're already working because there's no reason why I should have been able to tolerate hundreds of little girls squealing at the sight of American Girl Dolls. lol. I'm blessed to have the family and friends who love me so deeply.
In about 12 hours, we'll head to St. V's. I'm ready but am definitely not looking forward to the days following surgery. One word of caution is that I've been told that my language abilities may not be sharp for a few weeks because the docs will be messing with the left lobe of the brain which is responsible for language. Therefore, my blog may be brief or non-existent (with the exception of a quick update) for a while.
Thank you for your prayers. They're already working because there's no reason why I should have been able to tolerate hundreds of little girls squealing at the sight of American Girl Dolls. lol. I'm blessed to have the family and friends who love me so deeply.
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