Defining Moments

There are a handful of moments in our lives that God gives to prepare us to respond in difficult times. I've thought about some of those times and how they've prepared me for the past few months.

About five years ago, I had a job I loved. It was one of those rare times when you jump out of bed in the morning and can't wait to get to the office. I was a newer supervisor on a team of very young and inexperienced professionals. It was exciting to watch them improve every day over our two years together and eventually become seen as leaders in our area of the business. Our director met with me and said he'd like to find ways to expand my role and continue challenging me. How exciting! A few days later, I was at home in the morning (because Mark was in a bike accident) and received a phone call from our executive director's AA. She said he wanted to meet with me. What??? This just keeps getting cooler. Rather than thinking that there could be anything negative in this meeting request, I thought he was going to tell me that they had found a way to make my job even better than it already was. I headed to the store, bought a new suit, and bounced into the office. As I walked into the building, I saw a good friend of mine. She asked what I was doing there (because she knew about Mark), so I joyfully told her about the meeting. She looked alarmed. She grabbed me by both arms and looked in my eyes and said, "This isn't good, Stacey. A lot of people have lost their jobs today. This is not the good news you're expecting. Prepare yourself before you walk in that office." She kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I went numb. I couldn't think. I went into an enclave to try to get my best game face. Then, I remembered something my Mom told me - something that often comes to my mind in difficult times.

Ten years earlier. . . Mark and I had been dating for a few years and I thought we were doing well. However, Mark was a lot like many young men and didn't know what he wanted until he didn't have it. He broke things off in what felt like a sudden way. I'm not much of a crier, but I was crushed. I spent an entire night crying in bed. The next morning, my Mom sat at the edge of my bed in silence, staring at the wall. She's probably going to pummel me for saying this, but my Mom's never been a nurturing, sympathetic woman. She doesn't say much but when she says something, it's important. As she sat on my bed, she didn't rub my back or pat my leg. She just stared. I asked what she wanted and she said, "Are you finished crying?" I sniffed a few times and said "No." She responded, "You need to be. I want you to stop crying, get out of bed, take a shower, get out of the house. and have some fun!" Sniff, sniff. What? "Stacey, you need to learn that when things go wrong, you can't respond by crying yourself to sleep or locking yourself away. You need to hold your head up and live your life. You can either allow difficulties to define you in a bad way or good. Your decision." Then, she walked out. She just walked away. No hug. Just suck it up and move on. That's my Mom! Well, I did get out of bed and I decided that I'd never again allow a crappy situation to turn me into mush.

Fast forward ten years . . . I did end up losing my job that day. They were eliminating positions in our area based on seniority and I happened to have the fewest years. With a lot of prayer and determination, I forced myself to walk into the office every day and give 100% despite what had happened. My team and I worked together to make sure we remained focused until I was in a new job. In the end, I found a position that I loved even more than the previous one and it was the best thing that could have happened to my career. God used something that stunk in order to create something spectacular. He also used the situation to strengthen me and show me that our jobs don't define who we are. As much enjoyment as I get out of working, it doesn't make me any more or less important.

What are your defining moments? Do you have one happening right now? If not, when one comes, remember what my Mom said. Suck it up, hold your head up, and make it define you in a good way.

Quick update: I feel GREAT today. I've been sleeping better and getting a lot of rest. I'm getting stronger every day! :)